It's been too long...

I'm starting my blog, unsure as to what it may contain. Not because I don't have things to write about but I'm unsure that it's important to you, the reader. I'd love to know who, if any or many, are following this blog. It helps in knowing if I should carry on.

February brought REST and the beginning of more healing for me. I attended our women's retreat in Ruidoso, NM and the word given, was just for me! I was blessed by getting closer to new friends and to God. It had been a while since I had taken time for ME to get away and it was just what the doctor ordered.

REST...

New International Version - Matthew 11:28-30 says, " ²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Here is the same scripture, Matthew 11:28-30, from The Message:

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

Some of the questions presented to us were: "Is your soul at rest?" "Do you trust Me (God)?" I had to admit that I haven't trusted God in all areas of my life lately. That was hard to admit as I've been a Christian so long that I know better. The unanswered questions that linger in my heart and mind lately, have led me to the realization that I've not fully trusted in Him. I've allowed this to happen. He has NOT done this to me but instead waits patiently for me to come to Him for answers and rest.

We also discussed what we are "yoked" to...

Pleasing people, Unforgiveness, Negative Thoughts, Worry, Mask/Facade, Offense

OR Jesus?

That will get you thinking and soul searching, huh?

I was reminded that true rest can always be found in God's presence. Always. God is always there for us. He always listens. He always has the answers. He is always trustworthy. He is always willing to heal us. He is truly all we need. Let's "yoke" ourselves to HIM!

The past few weeks, God has given me spiritual eyes to see some areas where I need His love to sweep through me (yet again). I've realized that somehow I've tied Abi's adoption story into my own story. I have a deep desire to verbalize to Abi how deeply she was loved by her foster mother in Medellin. While we are spending time together, I'll tell her stories (that we learned through her case worker) about her foster mother and biological mother. I tell her how much they loved her and how proud they would be of her. I tell her that someday we will find them and show them how beautiful she is, etc. As this is fine and dandy, I'm not sure that I need to discuss this in such great length or detail. Afterall, Abi is only a one year old. I realized that my desire has changed. I would love to know more of my own history. My conversations with Abi have shown to be my own longing to know my roots. As this has rarely crossed my mind, in my life, questions and thoughts stir within me, since we've adopted Abi. I believe that God is stirring these things in me so as to take me to a deeper level of healing and intimacy with Him. I want to recognize and be very clear in my heart that Abi and I are are on two different journeys. We are both adopted from Colombia but our stories and our lives will differ greatly. The truth is that we are both loved and chosen by God to do great things for Him. We will see what unfolds in the future but as for now, I'm learning to be content with my own story.

If you are new to my blog and/or need a reminder...I was left at the corner of 5th and 8th streets in Bogota, Colombia. A police officer found me and took me to safety, the government-run Children's Home. A couple weeks later, I was miraculously moved to Infant Paradise in Villavicencio, Colombia. With that said, there was no note, no name attached to me. Nothing. I've been told that to have been taken to this specific corner meant that whomever left me, loved me and knew I would be found there. The next corner was also a "chosen" place to leave babies as it was the corner where the parliament stood. In that time, it wasn't odd to have left a child at either corner. This is great news to me but obviously there is no way to track a biological family member. I shall meet them in heaven. I'm sure of it!

I recently spoke to a group of women at another church here in Lubbock and while preparing, I was overwhelmed with God's favor on my life. It's always good to remind ourselves of what He has done for us and in us! Amen?! He not only saved my life in Colombia but He gave me parents that have loved me since they saw my first photo which was sent by snail mail. I'm thankful for them because they are my REAL parents. I'm not sure how I've lived without Dad in my life for 10 years. He was a wonderful man. My mom is doing well and coming to see us soon. Can't wait! I love her with all of my heart.

So as I journey through new areas of my heart...learn to rest in Him and attend ladies Bible study, I'm learning there is always room for more growth. There is always more healing that needs to be done in all of our lives because we've all been hurt and we all have "stuff." Have you ever noticed that hurt people (those that have been hurt) often hurt (other) people. I don't want that to be my way of living when I serve a God who offers freedom to me. God is faithful and loves working on me...you too.

As for the rest of the family...

Bruce is busy pastoring and loving people. He's a great leader and friend. While preparing to speak recently, I was reminded of the HUGE impact Bruce has made in my life. He's shown me love that I never thought I deserved, much less, would receive. I've decided I'm going to get creative and make something beautiful to hang on my wall with the faces of those that have truly changed my life. I want the constant reminder of God's goodness and want to have a heart of thanksgiving for them DAILY. Obviously, many have made a significant difference in my life but there are some that stand out. For example, Ms. Nancy Tappan who gave up her "all American life" to go to Colombia, SA and open an orphanage. A woman in her 20's with a great future ahead of her. She sacrificed everything to create a place of rescue and hope to the abandoned babies. She changed my life. You might stop and give thanks for the people God led into your life...to change your destiny.

Joshua is at least 2 inches taller than me. It's so weird standing next to him. He's still going strong in band and swimming. He's also involved in our youth group at church. Today Josh played in his percussion ensemble at school. He had to wear his black shirt, pants, socks, belt and shoes. May I just say he looks so handsome with his dark hair while dressed in all black?! I told him he looked like a spy and he went into spy mode. Help me! I stopped by the school during lunch with his clothes and had planned on giving him the change of clothes and then reading my book in the car for the next 20 minutes until the ensemble played. I found myself sitting with Josh and five other seventh graders in the cafeteria. I'm always pleasantly surprised when Josh invites me to hang with he and his friends. They cracked me up as they talked about anything and everything. I loved it. I walked away with tears welling up in my eyes at the joy of the moments shared with our son. It may have been my favorite part of the day...sitting with 6 goofy junior high boys. Priceless.

Bella recently competed, with the rest of the first graders at her school, in the Jump Rope for Heart competition. She raised zero dollars for this event as she was much more interested in practicing her jump roping skills than asking anyone for a donation. She was so excited and the night finally came for the PTA meeting and the contest. She was ready early in her bright yellow shirt (that was their class color for the contest) and oh, so happy! On the way to her school, she said, "Mom, I'm gonna win this thing" and SHE DID! She won in the "running/jump rope" event. She stared at me the entire time she was jumping. If you messed up or stopped, you were out. She kept going...staring straight at us, her family, her greatest fans! The music was loud and when the coach announced, "We have a winner!! Bella Menefee!!!" the smile on her face melted my heart. She had such joy for she had set a goal and achieved it. Soooo proud of that girl! Man, I LOVE HER!!!

I've recently started journals with Josh and Bella. I gave each of them a special journal and 1-2 times a week, I write something at the top of the page. I'm using this as a tool to remind them of God's goodness and how He answers prayer. They had been bickering for days on end and making me absolutely crazy. I sat them down, handed them their journal and they spent time answering the question I had written (at the top of the page) and then went to their rooms to ask God to help them in the area that I had suggested. Josh was done in about 3 minutes but Bella took it a bit more seriously and spent a good amount of time asking Jesus to help her heart to be kind to her siblings. I've seen improvement and I'm so thankful. With five years between them, it's often not easy to relate and enjoy each other. Today, I realized they were playing Legos in Josh's room...together! Hearing them laugh and talk while building things, filled my heart to the brim.

Sweet Abi is still doing exceptionally well. SHE'S SPEAKING! We've been working with her for weeks and weeks to say her name. We've taught her by breaking her name into two syllables...say "A"..."bi"...she repeats. For the longest time she would only copy us and not ever say her name on her own. Well, THIS WEEK she is saying her name!! She still says it with a three second pause between "A" and "bi" but at least she knows her name! She also says, yeddo for yellow, puple for purple, Bedda for Bella, nun for all done, bite, Josh, book, no-no, shhh (with her finger over her mouth), night-night, lo for hello, peas for please and a few others. We are thrilled with her vocabulary and thrilled that she is putting two words together.

Other changes in Abi...her hair is super long. I swear her hair grows like the Menefee girls...fast! Wish mine did. She has sweet curls at the tips of her hair that hangs just below her shoulders in the back. The sides will catch up at some point. She looks like a Colombian doll when wearing piggies (pig tails). Just the cutest thing you've ever seen. She lets me know when we forget her earrings. She loves shoes! She goes straight to Daddy after her bath or after having gotten ready for the day. He praises her and she smiles. She loves to crawl up in the chair next to Bruce each morning while he listens to the Bible on his computer. The voice of the guy reading the Bible is deep and powerful. She sometimes stares at the computer and then glances up at Bruce or she brings a book along to view while sitting next to Daddy. They LOVE each other...it's just beautiful. The funniest thing...Abi has three names for Bruce: Papa (so precious and what they call their Dads in Colombia), Dada or Boos...soo funny and cute!

Since the weather has been so beautiful lately, I've been leaving our back door open while I make dinner. Josh and Bella wonder in and out and Abi follows suit. She gets her shoes from the shoe basket by the back door, brings them to me and is ready for an adventure. It's funny what we allow our THIRD child to do without complete adult supervision. Ha! She wonders out, looks for Rocky (our dog), picks up sticks, writes on the concrete with chalk and delightfully stays where she's supposed to. I check on her or call her name and she's happy. I love her independence! I love her smile. I love her fake laugh (as she slaps her knee). I love to watch her jump on the trampoline...a great and safe place (while zipped into the safety netting) while I'm making dinner and can see her playing.

I love to hear Bella reading to Abi. I love to see Josh playing with Abi. She's a great girl. She LOVES bath time and would stay in the tub for hours if we'd let her. She still loves to eat but has figured out that entering the kitchen doesn't always mean we are going to eat at that moment. She's healthy, happy and blessed.

Bruce and I are asking God for direction, discernment and provision right now...please agree with us for ALL that He wants to do in our lives as individuals, a couple and a family.

Life is good. God is good and I'm thankful for you.

Love, Ruth